Something tells me I’ve done this a million times before.

      I take slow steps into the endless white void that lies ahead. My legs have steadily lost their coordination over the past few hours. Each step that used to be prompt and precipitous was now sluggish and labored. The tips of my fingers are turning a pale purple from the freezing temperature that surrounds me. I haven’t been able to feel anything through them for the past hour. Each weak breath that I manage to force out through my ice-crusted lips becomes white steam in the arctic wind. The frozen air pierces my lungs, and the taste of iron builds in the back of my throat. The sound of my heart beating echoes in my ears.

      Thump, thump.

      Each arduous breath penetrates a hole in my lungs. Each laggard step causes a stabbing pain in my hip. Each faint twitch of my hands tears the muscles that are there. Each indistinct movement of my head causes a throbbing sensation to fill my entire body. Each weak thud of my heart blisters my core. My whole figure feels as if it is being broken apart piece by piece. 

      Thump. Thump.

      My legs decide to give out and I collapse to my knees. I want to continue moving forward, but my body has curled in on itself, attempting to locate some spark of warmth. Tiny bruises begin to form on my arms from how tightly I am gripping them. A thick frost has formed on my eyelashes, making it near-impossible to see even a few feet ahead. 

      Thump. Thump..

      I don’t know why I haven’t died yet. How much longer would it take for death to come and claim my tortured soul? Part of me wishes that the sweet release would come soon. At least I would be warm on the other side. 

      Thump.. Thump..

      No. No! I can’t die! I can’t! I still have so much to do! I’m only.. I’m only.. Why can’t I remember my age..? I.. I can’t remember.. How did I even get here..? All I remember is waking up here.. Why can’t I remember..? Why can’t I remember my name? 

      Thump..

      Why am I not shivering anymore? Where did all the pain go?

      Thump..

      I stand, swaying slightly on my feet. I let out a breath that I didn’t know that I was holding, finding that it wasn’t painful to breathe. 

      Thump..

      I continue trekking forward at a quicker pace than before, each step prompt and precipitous. 

     Thump..

      A bright light appears in the distance and begins to shine brightly. The sun!

      Thump..

      I take a singular step towards salvation before tripping and hitting the ground with a hard thud.

      Thump..

      I can’t move.

      Thump..

      Thump..

…

      “Experiment 1,000,001: Failure.”

      My body jerks back to life and I wrench my head off of the freezing floor to stare up at a man in a long white coat. The man scribbles on a clipboard while standing over me. 

      “What.. What are you..” I manage to say before the man cuts me off.

      “Experiment 1,000,002 will be initiated in one minute.” he says before promptly exiting the room. 

      “Wait. Wait!” I scream as I remember.

      I am Carwyn Solano.

      I am 15.

      I can’t go back.

      I can’t go back.

      “Let me out! Let me out! Let me see my family again! Please!” I scream, pounding on the white door that the man had exited out of a few moments prior. I can feel the cold returning. “No, no, no, no! I can’t go back! I need to know if they’re okay! Please-”

–

      Something tells me I’ve done this a million times before.