The Ironist presents an argument using that mighty tool known as verbal irony, or sarcasm. Irony has long served as both a weapon and a balm for those living in tough, turbulent times like our own. 

Climate changes; it’s what it does.

Like the seasons, each region has its own reason.

The moon pulls the tides like a hand draws up a blanket,

The sun revolves around the Earth, some say.

The change in climate is not that bad, there’s no threat; 

It’s just what it does.

The greenhouse effect is a pressure cooker that will boil the oceans.

The coal corporations and oil industries are high on the fumes of exhaust.

Coal is a dust-covered diamond that makes artificial lightning.

And oil is the liquid gold that takes us where we want to go.

At the expense of the ozone, they continue to burn 

To taste the sweet, toxic poison called profit.

It’s just what they do.

Hats are made to cool.

When the Earth tips her ice-covered cap towards the sun, 

It melts and becomes her tears 

The forests are nothing but tinder to fuel a dying fire.

The hurricane hides an eye that judges all.

The spirits of the extinct are extinguished.

“So let it rain!” I shout.

“Mother Earth is forgiving

So let the winds howl, 

Let the animals cry,” I say. 

Our unique little planet is alive,

For “Life finds a way,” say the apologists.  

It’s just what it does.