The Ironist presents an argument using that mighty tool known as verbal irony, or sarcasm. Irony has long served as both a weapon and a balm for those living in tough, turbulent times like our own.

       What is a social life? People tell me that if I go outside, I would find out. But  I play League Of Legends, and the outside world is scary as it has these things called: human interaction and grass. But what I remember from a time before the League is that social pyramids were eradicated.

       Some people complain that the jocks, who get cheerleaders who they cheat on in less than a week, are on top of the social pyramid. Then you have the nerds and drama kids at the bottom saying things like: “Um actually”, and “YOU DON’T KNOW EVERY MUSICAL IN EXISTENCE!!??”(You know exactly who you are kiddos). But that’s just not true as people who fall under that can still be friends because, I mean, when was the last time you saw a football player being friends with a nerd and not using them to cheat? Everyday because we are all friends.

      Then those people argue that: “in certain countries they have social pyramids,” but that’s just not true. I mean the Caste system in India literally goes against social pyramids because it includes diversity for all. Then these incorrect people say that: “Ancient Egypt had one” which is just blatantly wrong as the Pharaoh was the same as the commoner(just with a different name).

       But then school gets brought up. School never had social pyramids. Nobody judges each other on anything at school(especially Westfield ;]) because judging is wrong, and that’s bad. Those random kids that look buff and sit together, like they are in a cult summoning the spaghetti monster, have the same status, prisone-I mean student, as the quiet kid who sits alone in the corner. Because remember, social pyramids just don’t exist.

       Even in America there aren’t social classes. Like Gumball Watterson from the Amazing World Of Gumball once said: “I will eliminate the middle class.” This shows that at one point there WAS a social class, but not anymore because he removed it. I mean even airplanes don’t have it, that’s why we don’t have 1st class, business, and economy.

       If you look outside you may see mansions and say, “that’s where a higher class citizen lives.” That’s just wrong. What the public doesn’t know is that the mansion is actually just a hologram. Behind the hologram is a normal average house. Houses that don’t look good are also like that. It’s so you don’t visit them as they want to be left alone.

       In conclusion, social pyramids don’t exist anymore. People who say that clearly don’t understand and are Gen Z because they are cringe. Social pyramids are a thing of the past; while it’s great that we remember our history, it’s just history. So remember when you go on an airplane, or learn about Ancient Egypt, that social pyramids don’t exist. Peace out Westfield and remember to drink moxie.