The Ironist” presents an argument using that mighty tool known as verbal irony, or sarcasm. Irony has long served as an expression of protest– both a weapon and a balm for those living in tough, turbulent times like our own.

Students flood C-hall, phones whipped out and ready for action. There is relentless screaming, from teachers and students. Teachers attempt to break it up, while students spur it on. 

Within the circle, two girls are on the floor; punches and smacks amplified by the linoleum tile. Their screams are louder than those of the 200 people who surround them. Punches get replaced by hair pulling, as the crowd encourages the behavior. 

This is a description of one of  many harmless fights that have occurred this year. Along with these fights, this year consisted of numerous visibly unethical walkouts, and multiple unnecessary student punishments. In all reality, this school year has clearly been one of the easiest so far. 

The school year started with the simple return back to school, which was made to seem hard by those who cared about their health. I just don’t understand how you could be genuinely afraid to go to school with a little cold going around! These, unreasonable, horrors were shared by both teachers and students.

“I was actually freaking out,” disclosed Emily Johnson, 11. I understand pre-existing health conditions could make Covid worse, but how bad could it really be? It’s not like redeveloping a previous detrimental health problem, or even dying, is that bad. I would understand it if more than half of the American population suffered from these conditions, but it’s only a mere 40.7%. 

“I honestly don’t remember the transition back to in-person, probably because it happened so fast,” reflected Isabel Nemati, 12. Though there are some statements in Nemati’s testimony that I don’t agree with, like the moving fast part, everything else she said was true. There was no need to really remember the transition! It wasn’t like the school systems threw all students back into five day schooling, after an entire school year of only four day learning periods in the comfort of their homes.

Barely even a month into the school year, the most beautiful moments occurred; the Devious Licks. The brilliant stealing of private property barely had an affect on the students; other than the closings of multiple bathrooms and school wide punishments. 

“Those were annoying! Most of my classrooms were next to the bathrooms that were shut down, and it was pain. It also changed how the bathroom passes worked, which was annoying,” opined Ayoub Mendoun, 10. He’s just overreacting, like the other students! Just because bathrooms didn’t have needed sanitary supplies, during a pandemic, doesn’t mean anything! Don’t even get me started on the bathroom passes! They restricted students so well! Student skipping numbers have never been higher!

As we continued through the school year, the treatment of students started to decline. Though it was something that’s always happened, it started to actually hurt teachers’ feelings this year. 

“I was shocked by the blatant disrespect towards teachers,” replied Nemati. Obviously we’ve seen before that this Nemati doesn’t understand the way of the world. Teachers just need to get over it! It’s not like they work ten months out of the year with barely any pay, while balancing their lives outside of work. None of these incidents had major effects! No teachers were actually called slurs…

Along with the admirable harassment of teachers, fights have blessed the halls of Westfield (particularly C-hall). The various videos, pictures, and posters, reflect the situation. 

“I really don’t care,” opined Sarah Taouil, 10. The fights haven’t affected the students at all. They have only merely affected the teachers! The students are content with the possibility of being randomly beaten in the hallway. There is nothing wrong with a little Russian roulette fun!

The actions of teachers and staff haven’t gone unnoticed, causing multiple walkouts. None of the walkouts actually changed people. If anything, they just unnecessarily promoted freedom of speech. 

“I believe the walkouts were justified,” asserted Justin Short, 10. “I feel that they weren’t productive the first time and people just kept doing them. There are other methods of protest that would catch attention better than leaving third.” Obviously he was able to see that the methods weren’t doing anything! Most of the students solely went out to skip class, not to protest social issues that were directly affecting them. Just look at all the motives for protesting: principals saying upsetting things, the refusal of Muslim students in the multi-faith room, the new superintendent, and the police brutality occuring in Palestine. Clearly none of these issues are relevant; Fox News have barely covered any of them!

Due to the simplicity of this year, many students have no worry about the upcoming school year. The staff members are barely changing the environment. All they are doing is completely restructuring the way one 90 minute period works. 

 “I don’t think students have the motivation to change themselves, they need better facilitation and maturity,” voiced Nemati. Luckily for us, there’s barely any way to tell if the changes will do anything, unless people actually want to go to school board meetings. 

Overall, there is nothing to be worried about. Teachers have gotten their way; they’ve made school boring!